My daughter expects me to babysit her kid for free. How do I tell her no?

The question asker is not pictured.For Love & Money is a biweekly column from Insider answering your relationship and money questions.This week, a reader feels pressured to be a free babysitter for her upcoming grandchild.Our columnist says she’s not obligated to help, but to not forget she’s still her daughter’s mom.Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

Dear For Love & Money,

I am a 64-year-old retired teacher and a mother of four. My oldest daughter is pregnant. Recently, she and my son-in-law have mentioned date nights and all the “grandma time” they expect me to want to have with the baby once it’s born.

My biggest concern, however, is that my daughter intends to keep working after the baby comes, and as far as I know, she’s made no plans to pay for childcare. She hasn’t asked yet, but based on her comments about how much time I will want to spend with my grandchild and how expensive childcare is these days, I can tell she expects me…

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This article was written by Olivia Christensen and originally published on